Scientific Discoveries

It turns out that if you place a monkey with a typewriter on a spaceship traveling at the speed of light, it will necessarily produce the entire works of Shakespeare excluding Macbeth. This curious fact is known to probability theorists and physicists as "The Macbeth Exception," and has been documented a number of times since its discovery several years ago. It just goes to show you that no matter how much we learn about math and science, there will always be more surprising things out there waiting to be discovered.

The Wikipedia entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth_Exception

a recent article in Time Magazine:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9671,1597441,00.html?iid=sphere-inline-sidebar

and several occurrences in Popular Science:
http://www.popsci.com/military-aviation-space/article/2006-09/new-discoveries-in-math
http://www.popsci.com/military-aviation-space/article/2007-07/monkeys-at-light-speed
http://www.popsci.com/military-aviation-space/article/2008-06/the-future-is-now

Big Ass Thimbles

The word "thimble" is very rarely used to indicate a large size. As in:

• Ew, the mole on that man's neck is the size of a thimble!
  
• So he asked if I wanted salt on my fried egg, and I said yes, and he proceeded to dump an entire thimble-full of salt onto it! I was so mortified!
  
• The visible hair on the outside of his nose couldn't be comfortably crammed into a thimble!

Also, with good reason, you never hear the suffix "-ass" attached to adjectives that represent absolute properties. For example

• That's a true-ass statement!
  
• You don't have time to watch that, it's a school-ass night!
  
• Don't worry, it's only a temporary-ass tattoo.

Additionally, as we all know, you can only use the "-ass" suffix with adjectives placed right before the nouns they modify. Forbidden usages include:

• Your window is open-ass.
  
• I wanted to paint my truck red-ass, but I couldn't find that color.
  
• I'll only eat the mayonnaises if it's lite-ass.

I'm a believer

I have faith. My faith comes from inside me. It is a strong faith, a living faith, a colorful faith. It is my faith. My faith contains truth, beauty, and goodness. It is true because it is faithful. It is beautiful because of its faithfulness. It is good because it is faith.

I believe. I believe in myself, and in my faith. I believe that my faith is worth believing in. My belief does not come from me, but it comes from my faith. It is a faithful belief, because when I believe in my faith, my belief acquires faithfulness. I am a believer.

I trust in my beliefs. I trust that my beliefs are faithful, and that my faith is trustworthy. I have a trust that springs from my faith and my beliefs, and ties them together. When I trust, it gives me belief, and causes me to have faith. I believe in a faithful trust, my trust. But over and above all this is my faith.

Wisdom From Experience

The Ten Most Important Things I've Learned:

• The difference between a good meal and a great meal is food
• Most of the people you meet have no idea how tall you are
• Time cures all memories
• People care more about what's inside your house than what's outside
• If someone asks you for a dollar, take it
• There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but there's only so much room in your boat
• If you can finish someone's sentences, you can start them as well
  
• Don't forget the mortgage
• No matter how much effort you put into something, it will fail
  
• A man who has taken a bath is a man worth listening to
  

God made black people so we would know what white people are.

I hear people asking all the time, "If God is so good, why did he make black people?" This is a tough question, but it is one that demands an answer. My pastor gave me this answer back when I was first asking questions about God, but it took me several years of wrestling with it before I finally accepted it as God's truth. The answer is this: God made black people so that we would know what white people are.

Now the person hearing this for the first time will probably have many objections. I know I did. How can that possibly be true? I wondered. I knew what white people were before my parents ever told me about black people. But did I really? Did I know that they were white, or did I just think of them as regular, ordinary people? I think God knew how we would naturally see the world, in our ignorant sinful state, and so He had to give us a guidepost. But what's wrong with thinking of white people as just people? What's wrong is that we would never notice many wonderful things that make white people so special.

For instance, when you're driving, and notice another car do something entirely illegal and blatantly dangerous, and then later notice that it happens to be a black person driving, you shouldn't be thinking, Why did God even make these black people? You should be thinking, White people sure do drive well! Or when you're a waiter, and a group of black people completely neglects to leave any sort of tip, you ought to remember all the wonderful tips you've received from white people, and how wise God is to have made such a high-quality race. Or, as a teacher, when your black students are disrespectful, don't pay attention, and spend all their free time doing drugs, it's no time to be worried! It's a time to praise your white students for their attentiveness, hard work, and self-discipline. Let the black students ruin their lives - it's what God made them for.

I know this may be a different way of thinking than what you're used to, but once you accept it, you begin to see the wisdom in God's creation, not just His creation of black people, but of everything! The answer to the question of why God made black people leads to a richer, fuller understanding of all of life's difficult issues, and so also to a richer, fuller life.